By Nigel Farthington III
There are countless honeymoon destinations around the world which offer newlyweds the promise of memories they will treasure for a lifetime … or as long as the marriage lasts … whichever comes first.
Keep in mind, the primary thing you need when choosing a honeymoon destination is a fiancée. Go ahead … pop the question to your “true love”. However, if they hesitate to answer and continue nonchalantly texting their BFF, if they spew their wine across table laughing, or if you notice tears of sorrow come to their eyes … then dump them quickly. Remember the three “Rs”: Rebound … Revenge … and Road-trip!
So, ladies, you have a recent breakup but you’re still dying to plan a honeymoon … you need a man! Call us … you’re in luck. If you want to bag a husband close to home, think Jackson Hole, Wyoming. With one of the highest men-to-women ratios in the U.S., we’ll book your trip and have you breaking hearts on the ski slopes.
Now for the men; if you can’t find a fiancée close to home … all is not lost. We’ll help you book an amazing trip to Minneapolis / St. Paul, Minnesota. The ratio of women to men is in your favor and they’re all intelligent and beautiful … it’s the law. If you can’t charm a woman in the enchanting Twin Cities then you may want to reconsider that whole “marriage” thing.
OK? So you’re getting married … finally. We’ll help you plan the perfect honeymoon. But, men, in all seriousness … remember; a tropical island beach, a relaxing Caribbean cruise, romantic candlelit dinners for two in Paris; just sit down with your beautiful betrothed, carefully consider and calmly discuss all the wonderful options we have to offer … then simply agree with wherever and whatever she decides. It’s that easy .